WHO ARE YOU?

Have you ever felt alone in a sea of people? Have you  felt like giving up?

This all happens maybe we don’t know who we are. I have felt the same. I just find a new face of mine every time, befuddled with my own persona. The marine of people is nothing but the people acting as a drop. But I feel like I ‘am worst than a drop or a grime in that ocean which sooner have to be eradicated.

Feeling this pressure I cry in vain for my recognition. I beg for my oozing charm, a calm psyche. I want to fathom out the strengths of mine, the intrinsic worth I belong.

I want to pine for the preeminent in me. I want to dodge of this hubbub of verdict myself. I want to shred out this stumpy layering of mine and want to show this humankind what I possess within myself. I don’t want to attest it to every other populace that I’m the unsurpassed. I want them to sense by themselves that what I embrace. What I’m . What all I can achieve. I  want the snuffle of mine to be converted in to the sweat of my uphill struggle, I want my cries to be renewed in to the enliven of my happiness, I want my melancholy to be transformed  into the thought practice. I just want this girl to be converted into an art. An art which is vague and can render many emotions. I want my unfathomable thoughts to be penned down on the paper of my victory

I want to be that intermittent light which can lighten the dark. I want to be that enchantment which can help myself to clear up the ruckus within my brain. I want to be chaste. I want to be liberated. I want to burnish. I just always not want but only demonstrate it to myself that yes you are not just anybody but somebody. I want a consistence existence of mine.

I want to be for my part. I want to be familiar by myself and want to do be in awe.

Memories- can’t resist them

Somebody quoted it so well “Memories are like a sweet box, if ever opened you can’t close it only choosing a one.”  memories. what a place they have in our lives.we always take past as yesterday but these memories being past whenever recall to our mind, make them feel alive like we are living it right now.

every part of them, every second either it is bad or good it get the best feeling in the world. there are times when our mind don’t want to recollect sometimes because we don’t let it to recall. But they also have special bond with us. No doubt they pinch us really hard but its an investment put money in it and you will get the benefits your whole life. alike this, we will learn a lesson and it will be cherished through out our lives.

I smile so suddenly on my own, people think I was crazy but it was though me and my heart involved who knew it was no craziness just the happiness of my memories.

An interview with a Narcissist

This is the best I have come across. 

Why did you tell me that you loved me, and walk away when I needed your love the most?

Because if I didn’t tell you that i loved you, you wouldn’t be there when I needed you most.

What about the time you told me that you loved my eyes?

The innocence in your eyes seduced me to speak. I was no longer able to tame the devil within me.

What about the time you told me that my voice was the most soothing to your soul?

Your voice was the calming white noise to my miserable black soul, and my misery craved your company.

What about the time you told me that you loved being around me and that it made you feel like you have never felt before?

You made me feel special and never judged me for the disaster that I was. You validated my existence.

What do I do now? I’am desperately in love with you and you don’t even care.

I can’t give you my heart when it’s disassembled like this. Just like life took care of me, life will take care of you.

– Najwa Zebian and Spoken Silence

What you were? What you are?

Sometimes to prevent a grave wrong is to commit a small wrong. But i feel that one day this small wrong will the victim your grave wrong. this small will act as big and it will take seconds to ruin all what you have.

wrong has the power to get inside you and stick to you so hard that even sticking over good cannot help it.

This wrong sometimes make me feel so inferior that i duress myself to think whether my existence is worth-wile or not. i makes me feel to dive in a sea where thy wrong if could not vanish but can at least hide in that endless place.

i want to fly but i am compel to earth, i want to run but i am here walking, i want to dive but i m drowning. i am on a ground walking aimlessly drowning in a pool of my muddle.

i want to make the chaotic path of my life spick and span. i can manage the hurdles put up by the almighty but creating problems for your own feels suicidal. i cut my own wings, i in reality lock up my legs , i stick myself to a dirty ground when i can play at an immaculate place.

A reality check in your life is a compulsion to awaken thee from your dreams of being good whereas you are being a vile.

so get up just once look inside yourself, because understanding yourslef is a first step of seeking wisdom. Its high time but uts also never too late. pull up ypur socks and get yourself on a right path and be the one you were.

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